October 07, 2010

Good Mom/Bad Mom

You hear it all the time.

"You're such a good mom!"
"She goes out/parties too much, she needs to learn to be a better mom."
"Your kids are so well behaved. It's because they have such a good mom."
"I feel sorry for her kids."

My future mother-in-law said something to me a few months ago and it stuck with me. She works as the director at a daycare. One day an employee and her were talking about their kids and her employee goes, "Oh you are such a good mom!" Matt's mom responded with, "What is it with your generation and comparing moms? Everyone talks about how "she's a good mom" or "she's a bad mom." What can't people just be left alone and be a mom??? That's all I am, a mom."

Isn't that the truth!

You see it all over talk shows, t.v. shows, internet sites, blogs, even conversations with your friends. Society wants to paint this perfect picture of a perfect family, with a perfect mom, and perfect kids when everyone knows that is far from the truth in every home. Now, I love my kids with all my heart. I would give my left and right anything to make sure they were safe and healthy. My heart hurts when I work my three days a week and I'm not home with them all day. I hardly ever take time for myself. I'd rather sit at home on a Saturday night watching Lidia run around our living room or cuddled up on the couch with Carly, then go back to my 21-year-old party days without a care in the world. I need to tan everyday considering we're getting married in 2 weeks, but I hate spending the 20 extra minutes it takes me to get home just to see the girls! Someone might say, "Aww that just makes you a good mom, Britt!" No, that makes me a mom that loves her children.

On the flip side, I NEED time away from them to keep my sanity. I get frustrated when my toddler is throwing a fit or my infant is crying for no reason. I love to sit in silence and watch my t.v. shows without someone needing fed, bathed, or wanting a book read to them. I dread waking up in the middle of the night. I like girls night out. I love date nights. Do these things make me a bad mom? No, that makes me a human that needs time to herself just like everyone else.

There are ups, down, highs, lows, and rock bottoms but this "good mom, bad mom" debate is ridiculous. We are judged as soon as we become mothers and sometimes we are our own worst critic. When I take an hour to go to the store with just one of the kiddos because taking both of them is just unbearable, I think that I'm being a "bad mom" to the other one. When I have a night out with friends after putting the kids to bed and after going weeks straight without any social interaction, I think that I'm being a "bad mom." This is a constant, vicious cycle, just like everything else in parenting. As long as our children are safe, happy, healthy, and make us smile... I think we're doing something right! So with that, everyone plan a "me" night away from your kids if you haven't had one in awhile and just continue to love, kiss, and squeeeeeeze your children... Amen?

Some infamous bad mom/good moms debacle in the media right now...
This girl was from 16 and pregnant Season 2 on MTV. She was known as a "partier that didn't take care of her son." Her famous quote was, "Having a baby is like being in prison." Made me sick to hear that but at some point we've all felt trapped and had our weak moment when it came to our kids... it just wasn't caught on camera.
Teen Mom's favorite couple... I LOVE them together. They gave up their daughter, CARLY (awwww!)  for adoption when she was born. They did what they felt was best for their daughter and not themselves. I definitely look up to their strength as individuals and as a couple.
Farrah from Teen Mom is from Iowa! Whoop Whoop! Proud that we have someone other than Ashton Kutcher that is famous from my home state! People like to rag on her whiney personality and attitude and her hilarious face she makes when she cries. That doesn't have to do with her parenting though. Yes, she's kind of annoying and totally rude to her own mom but this girl is raising a baby on her own, while dealing with the death of the love of her life. Sophia seems like a pretty happy baby though, don't you think??
America's sweetheart Maci from Teen Mom. I love her personality and her thoughts on parenting. She seems to balance life really well. I wish her the best in life and her son is too cute for words!
Oh what can we say about the mom with more children than children that live on my block?? She may have some crazy antics and some sort of mental issue that has to do with needing to be loved, but in every interview she states how her children are number one and she does her best to give them the life they deserve. I do hope the children get the amount of love and attention that they deserve with having only a single parent to raise them, though. Wouldn't you love to see the day in the life of this lady??
All I can say is LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! Everyone from my generation should still be a die hard fan for Britney! I love you Brit, I'm still a fan, you have a pretty awesome name, and your boys are gorgeous.
Now, in most cases if you aren't harming your kids physically or mentally, you shouldn't worry about whether you are a bad mom or not. Of course every situation is different, I know that, and this is a perfect example.
Amber from Teen Mom is a lunatic. She hit, smacked, kicked, and screamed at this poor guy and I can't believe it was all in front of a camera. She is constantly sleeping, letting her child cry in the other room, screaming at her ex-fiance in front of their daughter, and physically and mentally abusive to Gary. I repeat, all in front of their daughter. My only hope is that is goes as far as Gary and she doesn't act that way towards her toddler. On a good note, Gary seems to keep his cool better than most could, but I do believe that until she figures things out, her daughter should be with her father. I could not believe when I watched this episode last week. She needs off the show but Gary needs to stay on! Team Gary!

Can you tell I love Teen Mom?????


Megan said...

I love teen mom too ::squee:: I absolutely cannot believe that CPS has not come in and taken Amber's little girl away! I also lurve Britney :) Hope you have a great weekend!

Kati McDonald said...

love teen mom!

Chelsea said...

I watch Teen Mom every week. I can not stand Amber! I almost change the channel everytime she comes on because I feel so sad for her little girl. She does not deserve to be a mom.


Erika said...

I like the picture of Farrah and Sophia and the one of Maci and Bentley XD