You hear it all the time.
"You're such a good mom!"
"She goes out/parties too much, she needs to learn to be a better mom."
"Your kids are so well behaved. It's because they have such a good mom."
"I feel sorry for her kids."
My future mother-in-law said something to me a few months ago and it stuck with me. She works as the director at a daycare. One day an employee and her were talking about their kids and her employee goes, "Oh you are such a good mom!" Matt's mom responded with, "What is it with your generation and comparing moms? Everyone talks about how "she's a good mom" or "she's a bad mom." What can't people just be left alone and be a mom??? That's all I am, a mom."
Isn't that the truth!
You see it all over talk shows, t.v. shows, internet sites, blogs, even conversations with your friends. Society wants to paint this perfect picture of a perfect family, with a perfect mom, and perfect kids when everyone knows that is far from the truth in every home. Now, I love my kids with all my heart. I would give my left and right anything to make sure they were safe and healthy. My heart hurts when I work my three days a week and I'm not home with them all day. I hardly ever take time for myself. I'd rather sit at home on a Saturday night watching Lidia run around our living room or cuddled up on the couch with Carly, then go back to my 21-year-old party days without a care in the world. I need to tan everyday considering we're getting married in 2 weeks, but I hate spending the 20 extra minutes it takes me to get home just to see the girls! Someone might say, "Aww that just makes you a good mom, Britt!" No, that makes me a mom that loves her children.
On the flip side, I NEED time away from them to keep my sanity. I get frustrated when my toddler is throwing a fit or my infant is crying for no reason. I love to sit in silence and watch my t.v. shows without someone needing fed, bathed, or wanting a book read to them. I dread waking up in the middle of the night. I like girls night out. I love date nights. Do these things make me a bad mom? No, that makes me a human that needs time to herself just like everyone else.
There are ups, down, highs, lows, and rock bottoms but this "good mom, bad mom" debate is ridiculous. We are judged as soon as we become mothers and sometimes we are our own worst critic. When I take an hour to go to the store with just one of the kiddos because taking both of them is just unbearable, I think that I'm being a "bad mom" to the other one. When I have a night out with friends after putting the kids to bed and after going weeks straight without any social interaction, I think that I'm being a "bad mom." This is a constant, vicious cycle, just like everything else in parenting. As long as our children are safe, happy, healthy, and make us smile... I think we're doing something right! So with that, everyone plan a "me" night away from your kids if you haven't had one in awhile and just continue to love, kiss, and squeeeeeeze your children... Amen?
Some infamous bad mom/good moms debacle in the media right now...