April 20, 2011


When I came home from work last night,
I was fully expecting to sit my pretty tush on the couch, eat some nasty greasy amazing food, and watch all my favorite shows.
While I watched my kids politely play, feed, bathe, and entertain themselves.
Oh wait.
I'm not 21 years old anymore without a care in the world.
I'm on a diet.
and my kids?
Were monsters.

What I actually came home to was a disaster of all sorts.
It was the kind of night that people write stories about.
So I'll write a story about it.
I came home to 4 kids, not just 2.
You see... On Tuesdays, my friend drops off her kids for a half hour before she goes to work.
Then their dad picks them up when he gets off work.
Did I lose you?

back to the 4 kids.
Usually they are a delight.
Did I really just say delight?
They are usually manageable by myself.
But not last night.
And I won't go into details, you can assume the worst... and they were that.
So that half hour I was talking about?
It came and went.
Normally I wouldn't care if he was late, but you see, for the first time in my life I was selling something on Craigslist and someone was coming to look at it...
and I had four kids to watch after.

Well then mother nature decided to kick me in the gluteous maximus when I was down
and hand me a bloody nose.
If I'm counting,
and trust me I am...
That would be 6 bloody noses in the last two weeks and of course coming at the worst times.
Where are these even coming from?

There I was, chasing after 4 kids screaming, wanting milk, wanting snacks, and fighting over the ONLY umbrella in the house
(why do kids love umbrellas BTW??)
all the while blood is protuding from my nose and toilet paper sticking out of each nostril.
I look at the clock and the kids dad is over an hour late.
At this point,
you don't even want to know the hate words coming from my brain.
But then the doorbell rings.

Their dad.
He takes one look at me and laughs.
Take your kids buddy.
Then I kinda chuckled to myself too.
But then I saw the craigslist dude pull up in my driveway.
"Ok I can do this!"
I put Carly in her highchair with puffs and grab Lidi and go outside to meet him.
And yes, I still had toilet paper in my nose.
Go on, laugh...
But he was foreign,
and probably thought I was crazy anyway.

Anyway, I was selling an old stroller and carseat for 40 buckaroos.
This thing is nothing special.
and kinda ghetto...
hence the 40 bucks.
But this guy made it seems like it some piece of gold or something.
He then backtracked and wasn't sure and blah blah blah...
I even went down to 30...
I just want it out of my garage!
But he walked away,
(but just so you know, he's coming back today to get it. again whatev! :)

Then Lidia was screaming and throwing a fit, "Outside!"
but remember
I left Carly inside.
So we go inside,
and what do I see?
But my darling little almost 9 month old climbing out of her highchair.
I told you,
she's all boy.
if I had been even one second later...
we would have had a mess on our hands.
Someone was looking out for us...

or were they?
Because the disaster continued the rest of the night.
Tantrums, throwing toys, pushing sissy, pulling momma's hair, almost killing themselves in the bathtub, not eating their food, throwing their food, and the list goes on.
I mean it was ridic.
And hubby worked late so it was all me and I was going insane.

But wouldn't you know...
as soon as their precious "Papa!" comes home...
they are angels.
Isn't that how it always works???
Then I watched me some 16 and Pregnant and felt better about myself.

The end.

My little terrorists.
and yes,
Lidia is "choking" Carly in that pic by hugging her so tightly.
Gotta love sisters.


Megan said...

Oh gosh, sounds like an absolutely rough night! Kinda glad I don't have babies right now! Haha!! JK! How funny that you went to meet him with toilet paper in your nose. Love that.

Megan said...

OMG! This was funny (sorry I had to laugh). I would have lost my sh*%!!! Fo sho :) You held it together, and that is awesome. Hope today is better for ya!